Living with a narcissist, living in a narcissistic home, can be impossible to recognize if you don’t know the signs.
You’ve been groomed to believe your experience is normal, that everyone behaves like this, that all relationships are like this, and that if you work harder and give more, you can make it work.
You were taught that by a toxic parent or previous partner because it suited their needs. It isn’t true.
In fact, the sooner you see your situation clearly, the sooner you will find freedom.
Below are 29 signs you’re in an abusive relationship — signs you’re being terrorized by a narcissist in your own home.
Some of these you may have noticed. Others may seem “normal.” And some are going to blow your mind.
Here are 29 chilling signs you’re being terrorized by a narcissist:
1. You start out feeling like you’re “living the dream,” but quickly realize you’re in a nightmare
2. You realize nothing you do will ever be “right”
3. You alone are responsible for all relationship, financial, and household problems
4. You can’t trust anything the narcissist says
5. You feel like you’re with another child, not a partner
6. Nothing of yours is sacred — It will be used, moved, broken, or hidden
7. Your birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions are sabotaged
8. You are drilled about who you were with, who you talked to, and who you’re connected with on social media as if you are a criminal
9. You wonder if you’ve been bugged or tracked
10. You witness extreme reactions to seemingly minor things
11. You walk on eggshells to avoid triggering their feelings
12. The narcissist blows up when you want to improve the relationship
13. You make excuses — lots of excuses
14. You run interference for your kids and other family/friends, so they don’t experience the wrath
15. Over time, you notice that family/friends grow close to the narcissist
16. You notice conflict or strain in your relationships that never was there before
17. The narcissist’s opinion is the only correct point of view
18. The energy of the home is tense
19. You lose the ability to relax
20. You feel anxiety as you approach home
21. You find novel ways to “read the room” to know what to expect when you walk in the door
Your mind is making excuses already. I hear it.
Know this. These are the signs. They are not normal. They are not healthy. A relationship like this is not sustainable.
If you still aren’t convinced…
22. You grow more and more insecure and unsure of yourself
23. You become physically and emotionally sicker each day
24. You wonder if something is wrong with you
25. You lose all connection to what you want and need
26. You look in the mirror and no longer know who you are
27. You become unable to make even simple decisions
28. You question your reality, your memories, your beliefs
29. You know you need to leave, but look for reasons to stay
If any of the last 8 rings true, you are in an abusive relationship — you are a victim of intimate partner violence.
And you’ll continue to be terrorized until you choose to leave, or you die.
Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.
If you think you may be experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is not a reflection of who you are or anything you’ve done wrong.
If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474, or log onto thehotline.org.
Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding aftereffects of narcissistic abuse.
This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.
