There are a variety of thoughts that enter the average person’s mind after going through a breakup: “I hate her,” “I’ll never love again,” “I wonder if throwing his TV out the bedroom window will be enough to break it.” But of course, these aren’t the only thoughts that dominate the minds of a broken heart.
For some, “I want my ex back” or “We should really be getting back together” are also common notions. But that’s not enough when trying to learn how to get your ex back. If it were that easy, people everywhere would be reuniting and every single divorce attorney would be out of a job. Instead, wanting an ex back is just like wanting anything else: you have to work for it.
Sometimes, the best way to do this is to allow yourself to be cliché. So here’s how to get your ex back and rekindle your romance.
Here are 4 tried-and-true ways to instantly get your ex back:
1. Prove you deserve a second chance
It’s time to engage in a little less talk (or, in this case, thought) and a lot more action. Simply yearning to reconcile will do nothing; rather, you must put a plan in motion to make that reconciliation possible.
This starts by fixing yourself and whatever faults you brought into the relationship. Then it climaxes with you showing your ex that you are worthy of a second chance. Things have gotten tough, but it’s time for you to rise to the occasion.
2. Learn from your mistakes
Sometimes the surest way to make your friends and family members roll their eyes is to tell them you are getting back together with your ex. After all, some people believe that the very definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. Thus, you must do something new.
You and your ex broke up for a reason, so learn from it. Your breakup didn’t kill you, so allow it to make you stronger or, at the very least, make you smarter.
3. Give them time and be patient
Anyone who has ever cooked rice knows that constantly watching the pot turns Minute Rice into Twenty Minute Rice. A pot that is being watched is much shyer about being brought to a boil. An ex is sort of like this.
If you are trying to get your ex back in a pushy manner — you call them constantly, you ask them out for a casual coffee but then insist on talking about your relationship, you ask them if they’re dating anyone every chance you get — your ex isn’t likely to come running into your arms. Instead, you’re likely to leave them boiling in anger.
Reconciliation takes patience, so give your ex enough time and space to realize they miss you.
4. Show them you’ve changed with actions, not words
You have realized the role you played in the demise of your relationship. Maybe you were selfish or cold or so needy that you expected your ex to call and check in no matter what they were in the middle of.
Whatever problems you perpetuated, you swear you’ve changed. In fact, you’ve told your ex this — you’ve called them, texted them, emailed them and you’ve even stopped just short of paying a pilot to write your message in the sky. In other words, you’ve talked the talk. Now, it’s time to walk the walk.
You can tell your ex that you’ve changed as much as you want. But until you actually show them the new and improved you, don’t expect a reconciliation. Talk is cheap. It’s the action that’s worthy of investment.
The Romance Code is a relationship coach who shows people how to navigate the ups and downs of love.
