When you look at your man with love, you used to see those feelings clearly returned in his eyes. Now, you see only his exhaustion and impatience.
He may be your long-time boyfriend, or even your husband, and while he hasn’t said anything to you directly, all joy seems to have drained from his life, and you’re starting to feel less important than his work, his friends, and even his phone. You can hardly get him to spend time with you, as he always seems busy doing one thing or another, and it all has you asking yourself more and more frequently, “Does he still love me?”
Naturally, you try to win back his attention.
You work harder to make yourself attractive to him, and you do things you think will make him happy. You hope that pleasing him will make things better, only to find your efforts make him resentful. As a result, you no longer feel validated, and affection has become a scarce commodity. That nagging feeling only haunts you more.
Does he still love me?
Only the man in question can answer that question for sure. There could be any of a number of other reasons he seems less interested in you than he once did.
Thankfully there are signs you can look for as an indication of whether or not he’s still in love with you. They aren’t difficult to see, but they can definitely be painful to accept.
If you want to know what is truly going on in your boyfriend or husband’s heart, be prepared to step back from your relationship for a moment and examine it from the perspective of an outsider. It may be helpful to grab a pen and some paper and write down “yes” or a “no” as you go through the following checklist.
Here are 8 Signs He’s Falling Out of Love With You
1. He is absent more frequently then usual.
One telling sign your husband doesn’t love you anymore is his absence. All of a sudden, he needs a lot of space. You get a distinct feeling that he is avoiding you.
Experts say men who fall out of love with their wives start coming home later and spending more time away. He will give excuses such as increased work at the office or suddenly going to the gym a lot.
If you’ve consistently been spending weekends together, he will start making other plans. Eventually, his excuses for his absence become more and more flimsy. If it’s becoming harder and harder to connect with him, this is a clear indication that something is wrong.
2. He’s lost interest in your life.
A sure sign that your boyfriend or husband may not love you anymore is if he is becoming less and less interested in the day-to-day happenings of your life.
He’s no longer interested in knowing how your day was. He doesn’t inquire about your hobbies and interests. He starts making plans without involving you. He no longer compliments you, and you no longer feel appreciated or attractive in his eyes.
Generally, if your husband is no longer engaged in your life, it’s a bad sign.
3. He has started disrespecting you.
Your once loving husband has started treating you rudely. He makes negative comments and criticizes you all the time. He even starts verbally or emotionally abusing you, and his behavior has become passive-aggressive. You also find yourself walking on eggshells around him.
He then starts comparing you to other women or your relationship with other couples’ in a negative light. Suddenly, everything you do irritates him, even those little quirks he once thought were cute.
When your husband starts intentionally hurting you, this a clear indicator that he has lost interest in you.
4. He no longer cares about your emotional and physical needs.
There are many reasons why your sex life may slump. However, if there is a definite shift in the way he interacts with you physically, it could mean he is no longer attracted to you. If it feels like the passion is completely dead and he shows no interest in reviving it, he is probably falling out of love with you.
You will notice he’s not doing anything to reciprocate your efforts at intimacy. If you realize your husband no longer focuses on your needs or bothers trying to satisfy them, something is wrong in your relationship.
5. The way he handles conflict has changed.
When a partner is falling out of love, he handles disagreements differently than he used to. All couples have their individual style of conflict resolution, however, when a couple’s relationship is stable, they use a relatively consistent method to solve their conflicts. When love starts to wane, so does the attention to peaceful conflict resolution.
Ask yourself whether or not your husband is behaving in any of these ways:
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He has become indifferent and has given up on arguing altogether, instead placating you, then going ahead and doing what he wants anyway.
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He picks abrupt and confusing fights, then using them as an excuse to leave the scene.
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He choosing to stay angry long after an argument has passed.
If your husband no longer genuinely wants to settle your conflicts and fix your relationship, something else is going on with him.
6. He discusses your relationship in a negative, hopeless manner.
Men are typically problem solvers. If there is a problem, especially with the woman they love, they will do everything they can think of to try and solve it.
When he’s falling out of love, he’ll no long be willing to take any responsibility for the situation. He will blame you for everything that goes wrong with your marriage. His tone will also turn from one of genuine curiosity to one of resignation. You will hear things like, “I’m just not happy anymore. Is this all worth it?”
If he has decided that there is no way to fix your relationship, he is looking for a way out of the marriage.
7. He’s become obsessed with his phone or device.
While he no longer communicates with you when you are apart, he will stay glued to his phone when you are together. This is a way of distracting himself from spending real time with you. And if he is flirting with someone else, he will never put his phone down, out of fear that you will discover he is being unfaithful.
If he no longer finds your presence stimulating, then he has probably lost all interest in you.
8. He stops telling you he loves you.
If your husband has shifted from saying “I love you” to just “me too,” he is probably losing interest in you.
If you observe this, stop saying “I love you” for a few days and see what happens. If he also stops expressing his love, then clearly there is a problem.
We hope you have a much better picture of whether he loves you or not. This is a crucial moment in your relationship that will determine whether you will live happily ever after or he leaves you.
If you’ve kept score and it does seem like he is falling out of you, do not panic.
Wondering whether your long-term boyfriend or husband loves you is one of the most common questions many wives ask during a rough patch in their marriage. You are not alone.
And you know what? Your relationship or marriage can rise from these ashes and blossom once again. Many times, a couple needs to hit rock bottom before they can rebuild.
It’s time to have a serious talk.
Randy Skilton is a relationship coach with an Advanced Diploma in Social Science and a Graduate Diploma in Technology Education.
