I dated a man for a very long time. He was like a part of my family. We thought we’d be together forever.
So, everyone felt shocked when our relationship ended, especially my parents.
We had been together for twelve years when I met someone else. It wasn’t love at first sight, but there was a connection that I had never felt before. I started to pull away from my long-term boyfriend, and eventually, I ended things.
My parents were devastated. They loved him like he was their child.
The breakup was hard for everyone, but my parents took it the hardest. They didn’t understand how I could leave someone whom they thought was perfect for me.
It was a difficult time for all of us, but eventually, my parents came to accept my decision, or so I thought. They may not have agreed with it, but they understood I had to follow my heart.
Five years later, I learned something shocking. My parents had been supporting my ex-boyfriend financially since I left him.
I remember the day my parents sat me down to tell me they were still giving money to my ex-boyfriend. I couldn’t believe it.
We had been broken up for five years, and I had moved on with my life. I was furious that they were still supporting him.
They said they felt like they owed him because he had been such a wonderful boyfriend to me. He had fallen on hard times, and they didn’t want to see him suffer.
They said they didn’t want to see him struggling financially, but I knew the real reason they were still giving him money was because they felt guilty about how our breakup had ended.
I felt like they were choosing him over me.
It took a long time for me to forgive them, but eventually, I realized they were just trying to help him out. I may not have agreed with their decision, but I understood their motivation.
Understanding aside, I was still furious.
What had he done to deserve financial support for the last five years? In the twelve years we’d dated, I’d paid for everything. I even bought him groceries and paid his rent. Now my parents were giving him money?
I felt torn.
On the one hand, I wanted to respect my parents’ decision. On the other hand, I felt hurt and angry that they were still supporting him financially. It wasn’t fair.
They stopped giving him money shortly after I found out about it, but they didn’t stop to spare my feelings. After five years, their relationship with him had finally run its course, and they fell out of touch.
I think that was healthier for everyone involved.
Tracey Folly is a writer who has been contributing lifestyle and relationship content to the Internet since 2009.
This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.
